"He was as mean as he was ugly and he was as fat as he was limp. If I had laid down under him all day I would have stood up at night still a virgin."

-Jeanette Winterson


my dealer is gonna kill me

This got me real good 😁




where is that video of a guy playing the shire theme on a flute to an ostrich who starts dancing seductively. that video made me laugh so hard i nearly threw up and i need it

i found it

i have never been that excited to see a video after reading a description of it

"Nothing kills you like your mind"


(Source: ocean-wavezz)